Mindy Kaling gets me (or at least one of the writers of her show does)

I don’t think I can post a picture from the Mindy Project so let’s instead gawk at this awkward staged fight…
Hispanic couple with relationship issues

Image via GraphicStock

In my formative teen years, I was a slave to the CW. In fact, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, my idol, dealt with plenty of devastating breakups over the years. I found exactly 0 of the breakups (and their aftermaths) to be relatable and helpful in my actual life as it progressed.

Why does this matter? Unfortunately, for many of us movies and television shows do influence how we behave in relationships. I’m not saying I would have ever expected or wanted an Edward and Bella (Yes, that’s right, I’m throwing a Twilight reference in) style breakup but it may have been helpful to watch and absorb the type of breakup that I actually did end up experiencing in my life. For me, this would have included an accurate element of self-reflection upon the conclusion of a relationship.

Recently, I tried a free trial of Hulu just so I could catch up on The Mindy Project, which I hadn’t seen since it left Fox. I flew through the past few years of episodes and found it very enjoyable, light and humorous. Mindy. I love your show and you. You can count me among the many fan girls who dream of listing you as a best friend. However, the following episode hit me like a ton of bricks:

Warning: If you are trying to avoid any genre with any sort of romance, skip Mindy/the episode I’m writing about. May I instead suggest binge watching the two available seasons of The Missing?

The Mindy Project, Concord

Of course, I initially cheered for Mindy and Danny and hoped for the best. But then you guys had a baby and Danny turned into a mega asshole. And although you and I are quite different people, I felt for you and found so many similarities in the way we were treated, despite the fact that we are both strong and independent women.

So, by the time you were making your final decision on whether to stop Danny’s wedding, I knew I didn’t want you with Danny. In fact, I really don’t know how anyone could be on Team Danny at that point.

This whole episode, Mindy “hears” Danny’s voice talking to her and prompting her to stop his wedding (oh, did I mention he’s marrying some girl he basically just started dating a few months ago and told Mindy he just wants to be married, cute).

Mindy ultimately decides not to stop the wedding (it’s kind of lame because the newest guy she is dating calls her and tells her he loves her) and heads back to her parents house where she has the following conversation with her mother after confessing that she’s been hearing Danny’s voice:

Mindy: No, no, Mom, this whole weekend, photos of Danny have been straight-up talking to me, telling me that I screwed up my whole life and that he was my one shot at happiness.

Mindy’s Mom: But you’re sure it was Danny who was talking? I mean, if you ask me, what the photo said sounds more like something you would say.

Mindy: Huh? Ex-squeeze me?

Mindy’s Mom: Look, sweetie. We’ve always been so proud of how hard you worked.

Mindy: Thank you for finally admitting that I’m better than Rishi (Mindy’s brother, LOLZ).

Mindy’s Mom: But you’ve always been so driven and hard on yourself, that somewhere along the line, you started to believe that if someone wasn’t hard on you, they didn’t care about you. And eventually, you ended up with a man who did the criticizing for you. And now that Danny’s gone, I’m worried that you’re doing the criticizing for him.

AND with that folks, Mindy’s mom (aka Mindy’s incredible writers) changed my life. Basically, I realized in that moment that one of the Mindy writers must have gone through something similar to what I went through because there is no way you could have come up with that material otherwise. This was raw.

And in that moment, my television made me feel less alone and more hopeful.

Thanks, Mindy.

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